I am someone who sows

Knitting so purposely to see if I can grow

Simply pressing my emotions in to the fertile substance of the earth– my focus breaking to enjoy the sun, the warmth radiating across my skin.

This is the blessed awareness of all, of within, and of Zen.

It moves me to press and invest even more of my strength, emotion, and thought in this dirt that the world has given me.

This Blessed Pain

my soul to live. my emotions to experience, and my mind to savor.

All for what you ask?
For itself.

It is the purpose. To live, experience, and savor.

These truths, held in ignorance, that is to say never truly knowing them, led me to live life in an incomplete way.

What were these truths I so desperately needed back in my life?

Time truly does pass
Pain is required for deep growth
An instance can change the nature of something

Getting over my existential crises, my fear of change, and my lack of accountability has been some of the most daunting things to me, and so my soul has suffered.

I have scurried away in fear of these. Mainly due to my ignorance, but no more shall I await in fear. I will move into the unknown with strength.