Apathy consumes me. A dark shadow of my mellowed self is all that remains in me. I cannot move because I do not care. I have lost what has normally kept me; I have traded it for emptiness. I do not know when I bargained away my soul, but it is gone. I do not know what I got in return, for I am empty. Maybe this apathy comes from not knowing what I traded myself for.

This trade must have been in an effort to develop, but I see nothing of the sort. Nothing to tell me that I have changed in any positive way. I have only sidestepped; similar to the way I would avoid dealing with my issues when I was younger. I have not grown, I have not developed, I have not changed. The only thing I am is worthless. Devoid of most good things. Black as lead and as empty as a husk. My experience is like a skeleton stripped of all the things that would make me of some use. I have been brought down to my bare bones.