Sometimes the answer is no. No to fun. No to school. No to work. No to games. No to people. No to life. When it is that one, when it is no to life, I spend my nights crying. My tears are often filled with self pity and furious resentment accompanied by a deep sorrow. I am filled with these emotions, but I don’t know how to deal with them. I desperately want to love, but no one I love accepts me. I want to work, but no job accepts me. I want to know my self, but I don’t. This could be said better. No one wants me. That’s my biggest need, that’s the thing that keeps me up at night.
I am unwanted, merely tolerated. nobody wants me, but that’s ok.