It hurts to live, but it’s too painful to die

I am in a terrible prison, and the warden is myself. I am stuck between my own feelings. My friends, my family, and myself are not enough to make me feel happy. Oh happiness.

The unattainable feeling and state that comes at will. I am happy in morning, sad in the afternoon, laughing in the evening and crying at night.

I am a melting pot of emotions. I feel happy and sad in the same instance. I feel them all together- anger, sorrow, joy-all of them. nothing I do feels authentic. I feel like I am encapsulated inside of myself. I need something to carry on, but I don’t know what it is.

Death seems like it will not help. It is not an option. I refuse, but I know; anything is possible.

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