The Lord has calmed me. I’m ok with it. I can finally move on from it, or at least move on with it. I’m ok with the hole in my heart. I think I’m understanding, for the first time, that God is ok with it too.

I’ve never wanted to admit it. I thought saying I’m lonely or sad would make God smaller. I thought it would make God untrue. I thought that me admitting this pain would make me less of a Christian. I thought I would be denouncing God’s grace, mercy, and blessings, but I think he has and is showing me that it’s ok to be sad. This weekend I found out that it is possible to honor the Lord with joy and still feel sad.

The joy of the Lord defines me. It is possible to have that joy that abounds. His promises are true.

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