I am sorry for failing you

I do not even know if you will see this, but none the less I need to say it. I am sorry. It is my fault. You trusted me and I abused it. What made it worse is I didn’t even realize it until now. I was paranoid about being a good friend to you, but in the end I just drove you away. We do not talk. I am sorry for being a bad friend.

I think the biggest problem was trying to make everything about me. I had such a hero complex. I thought I could help you, but it was just me fulfilling my desires and my selfishness. I tries so hard to be real, but I ended up being fake. I ended up making mistakes.

I pestered you consistently. I had such a fear of you not talking to me I never stopped talking to you. I always felt the need to say something. My feelings got the better of me. I think that’s problem. I only thought about your problems through the lens of my own.

As I am here writing this, I kind of wanna cry. I failed you my friend. I drove you away. My self-centered pessimistic mentality felt great around your overflowing spirit. I was self focused. And again… I am sorry.

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